this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
