the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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