She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
NoShamevember. You game?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
