My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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