I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
