She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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