I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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