Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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