our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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