This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
