I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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