Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
