you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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