Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you had me at cake vodka
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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