i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
