i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
