Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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