i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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