I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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