Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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