I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize