fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
In America we eat man semen.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
