ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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