census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
