Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish i was in the wii world.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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