Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Randomize
