I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
