I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
