The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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