so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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