You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
