The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
