This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
