dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
