there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
