I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
