Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
