Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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