so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
