addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
