The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
