It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize