and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This house was built for laser tag.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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