soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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