what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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