Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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