i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
