My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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