I faked an abortion last night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
