I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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