arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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