I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
