Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
