I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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