Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
40s are totally the cure
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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