I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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