Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize